ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
