There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
