VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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