Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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