i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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