I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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