Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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