he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You were trust falling into bushes
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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