It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
