I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
