Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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