that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
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I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
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The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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