he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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