It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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