Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Randomize
