that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
