i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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