Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
