Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
