i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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