stop calling my apartment porn island.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
