Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
