I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
