We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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