I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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