he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
