i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
