Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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