with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize