After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
