What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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