Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
