Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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