butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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