we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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