on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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