She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
