We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
