I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
