Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
