I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize