apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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