So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
