I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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