Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
