just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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