fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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