i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
