Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize