He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
