i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
