we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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