Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize