How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
