I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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