Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
