How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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