Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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