How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
