It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
So apparently I’m into choking now
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
