so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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