There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
