the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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