At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
