guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
